Last night was my niece's 5th birthday at Chucky Cheese and believe me, you would think that place would make you not want to have kids! But it is much the opposite for me. I want that little someone to watch out for and grab my hand to go play another game. Maybe if we had that little someone Kyle would play less games! lol
Thought I would share this cute picture of my nieces, Aubrie, Katie & Libby, they went to Club Tabby:
I am feeling more and more negative about things. I guess it is my mind preparing itself for devastation. I know people say to stay positive but when you have been going through this emotional roller coaster for so many years it is just reality.
I keep pushing these thoughts to the back but they keep popping through, I feel my eyes welling up and then I am able to return the thought to the back of my mind again. It's just so hurtful to think we have been through such a long process and so much money for more heart ache.
I also try to imagine what our life will be like with no children of our own and that too is very painful to even imagine.
We still have a chance that things will work out so I don't need to change gears just yet but I'm a planner and I don't like the unknown.
I told Kyle we are testing Wednesday night so I know what to expect when I go to the doctor on Thursday. I know it will be painful to hear something negative come out of Ms. Devine's mouth even if I expect it so I want a little time to prepare myself so I can ask good questions.
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