Well it is finally here, beta eve. In one quick POAS my dreams will be realized or crushed.
Many people have sent well wishes which we appreciate but the thing that people don't understand is this may not work. When you say "I know it will be positive" or "aren't you excited", well something like that makes my stomach tighten. I would love to tell you what to say to us but I don't know myself. I guess we will just have to work together to get through this 2 week wait.
We want more than anything for this to be positive but to put all of our hope and faith into this cycle well, history shows that is a recipe for disaster.
I am dreading this POAS, you would think I would be so excited but I am not. I am nervous that tonight will tell us if our $15,000 has resulted in the precious child we wanted for so long. If not, we will be paying a loan for the next seven years that will remind us of our defeat on a monthly basis. That one stings!
Enough depressing talk, today is potluck day at work and gift exchange! I am excited about that and for a few hours I am going to pretend that I am prego and eat till my heart is content! :)
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